Quite apart from the fact that this is an abomination of a TV show full of irritating youths singing awful, awful songs, jigging about in a Flatley-esque manner (YAWN) and doing terrible card tricks, whoever did the makeup on the judges should be directed to the nearest SpecSavers. Cormac Battle was besieged with panstick from what I could see - a batallion of thick, glutinous gloop was present and correct on his poor face, but it's Twink my eyes were most offended by.
Twink, oh Twink. You made me blink. In fact, you made me shut my eyes. For a long time. That fried, frizzed, backcombed hair; the concrete foundation that sat heavily in all your many lines, wrinkles and canyons; the garish dark lipstick; the violet shadowed eyes that resembled nothing so much as large, painful looking bruises.
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Tell me Twink - who did this to you? WHO? Oh, I think I know...
You did it yourself, didn't you?
