Trusting five and six-year-old girls to get you ready for a first date is probably a good way to guarantee that you'll stay single.
Ditto for taking their advice, which includes dressing 'like a Barbie' and marrying them if they're 'nice'. Someone get these young ladies a copy of Tavi Gevinson's Rookie yearbook and make them listen to Beyoncé's '***Flawless' ASAP.
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We remember getting out face painted as five year olds at a school fêtes and asking to look like Kylie Minogue. It looked something pretty much like the above. So did the makeup job we did ourselves to our first teen disco.
