Mariah Carey's Luscious Pink (perfume)

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Fortuitously, Mariah has managed to get her latest scent out just in time to expand her bank balance in the Christmas rush. Even though no one can ever name any of her songs (as they are all actually the same song), she has had hundreds of number one hits, and as such most definitely needs a new celeb fragrance.

This perfume has many notes. Many many notes. Some of them take an unbelievable time to finish and may leave you feeling quite exhausted. Top notes of warble sweep into whooohoooohey followed by yeeahhhhbabeeeeeee and finally finishing with a lasting note of ooo-OOO-ooooohhhhhhhhh- wooooo-uuuh.

Fragrance experts are confounded. "We have never known a smell to hang in ze air for so long. Mariah looks very cold and soggee wiz her arse sticking out of zat puddle aussi" said one top Parisian nose.

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Just wearing it will instantly make you very glamourous and full of girly, minskirted, boobalicious, tumbling tressed, golden bikini clad fun.

Pick up Luscious Pink from department stores from €28. We just know your new boyfriend is going to mistakenly buy you this for Christmas.

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