I remember going to get my make up done last year (I had an actual needle and thread sewing stuff onto my face, you can check it out here); I was determined to look hideous. And so hideous looking I was that the lady in Spar refused to serve me due to my impetigo face and apparent lack of teeth. I was delighted.
But I remember the girl beside me in the studio looking aghast at me. 'What are you going as?' I asked to take the fear out of her eyes as I watched her sift through glitter and pink lipsticks. 'Oh, a sexy mouse', she replied. And my bloodshot eyes grow larger in horror. So I suppose in a way she was quite terrifying.
See, I despise sexy Halloween costumes. The devils and the ghouls do not walk around in PVC hotpants. Well, not that I've seen anyway. Lookit, if it's your thing, go for it but why not embrace the spook and the dark side and ghostly creativity? It's not a time to be sexy, it's a time to be terrifying (though sometimes those can be one and the same).
And it seems now that everything is a sexy PVC possibility. I'm a sexy TV Licence Inspector. I'm sexy Stage Three Syphilis. I'm a sexy Bunion.
So I thought you might like to see what we sported in Beaut HQ today.
First up, I put my witchy money where my deformed mouth is. I've never been happier to have naturally dark circles under my eyes, they came in fierce handy.
Miriam won Halloween with her take on the Invisible Man. I'm not actually sure that that's her under it but whoever it is has been working away all day.
And our Commercial team represented with Sharon deciding to harness the power of HD eyebrows and mutate into a modern day Vicky Pollard.
Jessica specialised in frightening small children in the corner shop as a bride of the dark side. I bet her vows including something about gutting people every Tuesday afternoon.
And our TV editor Fiona is planning on doing a few break ins on the way home. Watch out for her and note that she can be distracted by skull jellies.
Is your Halloween costume sorted? Are you #TeamSexy or #TeamHideous? And if you are going as I'm sexy Stage Three Syphilis, I want to see that.