On the way to my appointment at Float the following things happened.
- 11.45 am Upon setting the house alarm to leave the house, juggling keys, bag and other items, Cosmo Cat selected the very last, split millisecond of time to zip through the closing front door, thus setting off the alarm (and not for the first time displaying an intuitive knowledge of physics and a genius level spatial ability). Cosmo Cat was ejected from the house (after causing as much disruption and time wasting as possible by running up the stairs and hiding under the bed/ spare bed/ high up in a wardrobe). Result: much searching and cursing and eventual location and inevitable escape.
- 11.51 am Cosmo Cat managed to repeat this whole process twice more.
- 12.05 pm Finally backed out of the drive, heartily hating Cosmo Cat.
- 12.32 pm Navigated M50 roundabout in it's usual state of Beruit style chaos. Standout moments included the terror stricken faces of drivers unfamiliar with the daily change of roadmarkings, contraflows, lane merges, temporary traffic lights and the overnight disappearance of whole lanes. Finally set off Southbound.
- 12.46 pm Arrived in Dundrum. Unfamiliar with recent road markings/new roads/new roadmarks/ whole system carved up by the Town Centre. Had not been further then the Green Car Park in months. All had changed, changed utterly. Took a wrong turn.
- 1.01 pm Finally oriented self. Lunchtime traffic in Dundrum led to a further twenty minute delay. Further along the route, White Van Man cut me up outside Maxwell Motors. Cut me up badly. Brakes slammed on, stress levels off the scale. White Van Man sped off into the distance without a care in the world. Desperately late for appointment.
- 1.34 pm Finally arrived at Float. Felt like I need a need a large brandy and was tempted to nip into the nearest alcoholic beverage selling establishment. But restrained myself. Entered Float. Apologised insanely for lateness. Was met with kindness and understanding. Felt like crying with relief.
The clock stopped ticking. My floating experience wasn't at all how I expected. Slightly claustrophobic, I actually wasn't going to try out this treatment, but in the end I thought, oh to hell with it, you only live once. Andrea, the owner of Float, had explained to me on the phone that I would be in control the whole time and I didn't have to close the lid if I didn't want to. That reassured me greatly.
So what happens is this. The whole process is explained to you. You're brought to your private room with the float tank in it. It's a clean, modern tank (see pic). I don't know what I'd been expecting - something like an iron lung (but bigger) - yes okay, I do imagine mad things. There's a shower in the corner of the room, you take a shower, wash your hair and then step into the tank.
The water is warm and completely buoyant. A huge amount of salts holds you up in the water. No part of your body touches the floor of the tank. It's an incredible feeling and like nothing I've ever experienced before. Yes, you are actually floating, it's like being back in the womb, it's warm and dimly lit and comforting, the soft classical music plays.
There was never any feeling of being closed in. At all. I think I lowered the lid almost at once.
At first I thought, I'll be bored in here for a whole hour. I started to think about popping into Superquinn on the way home and the chemist to pick up a prescription, ringing the bank and
The lid was lifting! My God! An hour had passed - I must have fallen asleep. This has NEVER happened to me before. Before I went in for the treatment I assured Andrea I would under no circumstances fall asleep - I'm a chronic insomniac and find sleep almost impossible. "You'll fall asleep this time" she promised. Yeah right, I thought. But I did.
I'm converted. I would go back in a heartbeat. I loved floating. If you want to do one thing today that will reduce your stress levels and chill you out like never before then get on the phone and book your appointment in Float. And to make the deal even sweeter there's a voucher on the FloatIreland website which will give you â‚¬20 off your treatment! Plus, float on a weekday and bring a friend for free!
You can send any flowers or other gifts of appreciation to me via Beaut.ie for this recommendation when you've had your first treatment. Because trust me - you're gonna love it.
Just one word of caution: don't do what I did and epilate your legs the morning of your float as salt water + freshly epilated legs = sting!
Go to: Float