Yes, this really is he who was Jordan Catalano, whom millions of girls swooned over when he was the hottest thing since sliced bread on My So Called Life.
The years, they have not been kind. So unkind it seems that poor old Jared has decided that dressing up like a priest and falling into a paint gun were his only possible options to retain that aura of mystery and achingly chill cool he used to have.
Ah he was right - there's nothing us women like more than a man covered in what looks like Sudocreme, Aunt Sally-esque blusher and bruises.
Way to go Jared, way to go.