You're Fired, Is What I'd Like to Say to Joanna's Foundation

Well now. Joanna on The Apprentice. So over-confident that she believes she can do everything better than the rest - and to be very fair, she does appear to be extremely capable most of the time - she fluffed the presentation task hugely. In fact, it was so embarrassing, that, as per her advice, I wanted to shut my eyes - and never wake up. It got so excruciating at one point I had to run out of the room, shrieking, as my teeth were hurting with mortification for them all.

But it was later on when Bill-o was grilling them that I realised what it was that's been bugging me about her. OK, apart from the really quite scary look that comes over her face every now and then. And that headscarf. Because it actually IS her face that I've been transfixed by. More specifically, her shiny, cadaver-fresh foundation shade.

Joanna. Jesus. Get some liathrodi and head to your nearest department store for a consultation. Heads up, girl - shiny, bright white base is never a good look. You need to warm up that skintone, STAT. Tips for makeup success include matching the colour to your actual skintone; setting it with a bit of powder to combat the embalmed look - and a lick of blusher wouldn't go amiss, either.

Otherwise I fear that in the business of beauty, YOU'RE FIRED.