Three Golden Rules for Going Braless on the Red Carpet

We were inspired by yesterday's AmfAR gallery so today we present to you a whole gallery devoted to boobs, and lookit, it's not even World Boob Appreciation Day. But try telling that to the internet - between Rihanna and Miley at the AmfAR Gala and Chelsea Handler aping Vladimir Putin's topless horsey photo shoot it's ALL about the boobs of late (even more than usual, and that's saying something).

Indeed, we are aware this has been done many times before, and the all mightiest boob to grace the red carpet to date is still Lil Kim's number from the 1999 MTV Awards, yet we're still surprised people seem unaware of the rules one should employ should you dare to bare.

So allow us to present the three golden rules of going braless on the red carpet:

  • Rule Number 1

You MUST be a B cup or less. The likes of Mischa Barton, Cara Delevingne, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, and this lady get away with showing a great deal of what they have going on (although Miley and Rihanna have been known to take liberties). They've been blessed with breasts that can be worn like accessories. Anything bigger and you're falling into Kim Kardashian, Daisy Lowe, and Kelly Brook territory. Yes, they're lovely, but they're of a size that makes them distracting. They're like the entire outfit, as opposed to an appreciated accent to an ensemble. You're also in danger of making the person you're talking to slightly nervous for a number of reasons. We'll let your mind wander regarding what those reasons may be.

  • Rule Number 2

Don't wear pasties. This just isn't attractive. This makes no one happy, just momentarily confused. Either have the balls to do it or don't do it at all. And if they aren't pasties, then I'm not sure where to start.


  • Rule Number 3

If you have to check where they are/consult with them for whatever reason, then you probably shouldn't have them out in the first place...

So, who to date has ticked all the boxes when it comes to whipping out the ladies on the red carpet? Ms Miranda Kerr. Being a Victoria's Secret supermodel helps, obviously, but it just goes to show that it is possible to reveal a little without going overboard.

Take a look through our well-endowed gallery and tell us whose looks you love and who needs a little more, eh, support.


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