So-So: L'Oreal Paris Telescopic Explosion Mascara

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I'd imagine non-mascara fans find the breadth of products and the reverence bestowed upon them in advertising as perplexing as I find constant, senseless ads for anti-bacterial cleaning products. Heads-up germaphobes: we NEED some exposure to germs for the good of our immune systems. Put that Dettol down, now!

Ah, that felt good.

And now, on to the issue at hand: mascara. The number one selling point of L'Oreal Paris' new Telescopic Explosion Mascara, €14.05, is the Givenchy-alike wand. The claims? Fanned out lashes. Spectacular look. Voluminous.

The reality? Poking yourself in the eye is all too possible  thanks to the spiky globe - but then that's a hassle with any small brush. To be perfectly honest, there were no explosions in my bathroom when I trialled this. I failed to be blown away, I was not rocked off my feet, the earth did not move thanks to incendiary devices - or any other devices. It's just a bit, well, whatever.

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It doesn't really do a job any other mascara I own can't provide; while it does fan out lashes, I fussily didn't like how that looked on ME (I apparently like my lashes forward-pointing and not sideyfernensed) and it doesn't give amazing volume either.

What it is very good at is getting at the small lashes in at the nose thanks to its roundy ways, and it's also effective on bottom lashes because of the spherical top, so plus points for that. I'll keep it on hand for night-time eyes, when I really want major coverage across Every Lash Possible.

As for the rest of it, I think L'Oreal Paris are hoping to have a smash on their hands thanks to the wand, but y'know, some wands are magic. And some, dear readers, are not.

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