I went to see Peaches on Sunday as part of the Hard Working Class Heroes festival. Becoming quickly bored by the faux-shocking nature of her live show, I concentrated instead on her thighs. Before you brand me pervy, she was only wearing pants and a sparkly bra for most of it, so it was hard not to notice. She has a good figure this gal, but she does also have a little bit of a tum and a modicum of body fat - in other words, she's completely normal, which is great to see. But she has NO cellulite. And believe me, those stage lights ain't flattering. Plus my eagle eyes were on full alert.
So how on earth is it possible to have no cellulite in this day and age? In the absence of being able to ask her how the rest of us mere mortals can achieve a similarly smooth set of thighs, apparently we must do the following:
- Drink 2 litres of water a day
- Cut out all caffiene and alcohol
- Eat a low salt, low fat diet
- Regularly brush skin to encourage lymphatic drainage
- Take frequent aerobic exercise
So in summary, to banish the dreaded orange peel we must all become sober hermits who spend all day on the loo.
Hrm. I think I'll just live with it.