As we grow older, it’s common that our friendship circle grows smaller.
Over the years, our lives evolve and sometimes the traits we value in a good friend also change. As we become more self-aware, we can start to realise who may not have our best interests at heart, and we find it easier to spot toxic or shitty behaviour. As well as this, occasionally people can just be mean and do not-so-nice things to us, which may result in your friendship breaking down.
Whatever the reason for your friendship fallout, it’s never a pleasant experience to go through. Similar to a romantic breakup, the end of a friendship can be devastating to go through, and it can take a long time to move past it. However, here are some ways which might make it a small bit more manageable.
Realise that you can only control your actions
You are solely responsible for you and your actions and reactions to what life throws at you. If a so-called friend behaves in a mean and awful way towards you, that is on them and has nothing to do with you. The best way you can respond to unjust behaviour is to rise about it and take the high road. Some people enjoy putting down other people or provoking adverse reactions but don’t give anyone the power to have that control over you. Always respond to shite behaviour in accordance with your own values and morals and never stoop to meet a toxic person’s actions.
Don’t put pressure on mutual friends
Falling out from a friend is awkward at the best of times, never mind when you are both part of a larger friendship circle. As I said above, remain a class act and don’t put pressure on mutual friends to take sides. Your mates are probably already feeling a bit awkward already and figuring out ways to navigate their relationships with both of you. In a similar vein, don’t use a mutual friend to snoop for information on the person you fell out with either.
Learn the lesson
As the saying goes, everything happens for a reason. You may roll your eyes at me, but I always find it to be correct time and time again. Your former friend was once a valued person in your life, and this was for a reason. With every negative, if you can take away at least one positive, it can reframe an adverse situation into a learning experience. What you take away from the relationship could be something as simple as they introduced you to your love of guacamole, to something more significant that they helped you land your dream job.
Wish them well
If you are in the midst of a friendship breakup, you probably can’t think of anything worse than wishing them well. But let me tell you, holding on to grudges and resentment doesn’t do anyone any good; in fact, it can harm your mental health and wellbeing. No matter what happened between you both, life is too short for any animosity; so either in person or as a silent thought send them love and wish them well. You will then be able to start moving on with your life and focusing on the present.