Breakups are the worst and navigating them can be even tougher.
No matter who did the dumping, the end of a relationship is never an easy thing to go through. You may feel like things will never get better and find yourself in a cloud of breakup despair for what seems like forever.
Our brains don’t act rationally when we are dealing with heartbreak, and this can cause many of us to deal with a breakup poorly. Many studies show that the loss of all those love chemicals like dopamine can be similar to a cocaine addict withdrawing from the drug. The trauma of heartbreak on the brain can cause people to act out of character, which explains why people may become obsessive with their ex or constantly drunk call them.
Unfortunately, the only thing that can really mend a broken heart is time, as cliché as that sounds. But time truly is a healer. Even though it may not seem like it now, one day you will be out the other side of the heartbreak you are experiencing. However, to speed up the healing process, here are some of the best ways to deal with a breakup.
As much as you would like to hash things out with your ex for the 15th time, it’s usually never a good idea. By continually texting, calling or meeting your ex to chat about the breakup, you are putting a halt to your healing. Fight the urge to reach out or reply to them and instead focus on number one and moving on.
While you might have no direct contact with your ex, there is always a way to keep tabs on them through social media. Instead of finding yourself in a daily rabbit hole of trying to analyse their Instagram stories or staking the new girl they’re seeing; do yourself a favour and block them on all social media platforms. By stalking their pages, it’s only adding salt to the wound and is doing you no favours in moving past the breakup. Be kind to yourself and keep your ex out of sight and mind.
Write a letter and don’t send it
If you have things you need to get off your chest to your ex, it can stop you from moving on. In tough situations, I always find writing how I’m feeling to be extremely therapeutic. Try writing a letter to your ex, where you tell them exactly how you are feeling; maybe even thank them for positive aspects of the relationship. Instead of sending the letter, get the closure you need by burning it and setting your heartbroken thoughts free with it.
Chat, talk and chat some more
If you’re struggling after a breakup, talking about how you are feeling will do the world of good. The breakdown of a relationship can be one of the most challenging things in life to go through, and there is no shame in speaking up if you are having a rough patch. Whether you talk to your gals, your mammy or a mental health professional, do so until you are feeling like yourself again.
Do things you love
As I said earlier, your dopamine levels take a severe hit after a breakup. It’s essential to build these levels back up again, so you can start to feel better. As much as you may feel like hibernating on the couch with Netflix or the foreseeable, try and force yourself to do things you love. Whether you meet your bestie for a coffee, get the endorphins pumping in the gym or go on a weekend getaway, focus on number one and getting you back to a happy place.
Take the high road
Regardless of whether your ex hurt you or behaved in a shitty way, always take the high road. Unfortunately, you can’t control someone else’s behaviour or actions; you can only control how you react. Always react with class and dignity and never allow someone to push your buttons, where you behave out of line with your values and morals. As tempted as you may be to send that angry text or blast your ex on Instagram, rise above it and keep your head held high.