's Colonic Adventures continue: Absolute Balance does the business

dishy NigelWe left Gio's story on Monday where she told us all about her pre-colonic consultation at the Absolute Balance Clinic with (the quite frankly dishy) Nigel. (See pic, left). Now she tells us EXACTLY what happened during the treatment. And I mean EXACTLY! She leaves nothing to the imagination - good on ya girl!

"Nigel had made some assessments on what he thought would happen throughout the session, i.e. that I was probably pretty bunged up! He said that in some ways my diet was excellent (porridge, lots of oily fish, not much red meat etc.) but in other ways abysmal. Sometimes I miss lunch, this is very bad. I always eat the biggest meal of the day late in the evening (between 7 and 8pm).

"He told me that your digestion works best between sunrise and sunset and that you should try and eat your biggest meal in the morning, something smaller then again for lunch and your lightest meal of the day in the evening. Even if you eat 4-5 small meals throughout the day, rather than three ‘square’ meals, it’s still best to give your system time to digest properly at night. I’m also guilty of not chewing my food thoroughly, again not doing the poor old insides any favours at all.

"Black marks against me too for not getting enough exercise (I could happily let weeks go by without getting out for a walk, I hate the gym and I could count on one hand the amount of times I went for a swim last year).

"I don’t drink enough water (maybe 0.5 to 1litre on a good day) and I have at least two to three large mugs of strong black coffee every day. Apparently this is equivalent to losing two to three pints of water from your body with nothing going back in to re-hydrate. Well, you can do the maths. In addition to all of this, over the last six months, I could safely say that I’ve had an alcoholic drink every two to three days. I don’t binge drink but most evenings I would have some wine with dinner or late at night (especially if I can’t sleep) and maybe a couple of gin & tonics at the week-end! I know this all sounds really bad, but there’s no point in fibbing! Not to myself and not to my therapist

"Nigel left me alone then, to change in the adjoining bathroom. When I hopped up on to the table, with a towel covering the necessary bits, I lay on my side, inhaled some beautiful scented oils, closed my eyes and started to breathe slowly, deeply and regularly. Warm scented oils were placed on the small of my back and a lubricated tube was inserted you know where. I am happy to confirm that this was, surprisingly, not in the slightest way painful. My back and tummy were massaged and I could feel that my innards were beginning to empty. This was a strange feeling as my instinct was to clench my muscles, hop off the couch and leg it to the loo! I could feel warm water gently flowing inside me and this was again, not painful nor uncomfortable, just a bit strange.


"Deep breathing really helped and I was able to kinda go with it if you know what I mean. After a few minutes I rolled back over on to my back and the treatment continued. I did feel a little embarrassed as it really did feel like I there was just so much coming out of me. I reckoned that he’d seen it all before though and just concentrated on breathing and staying relaxed. Nigel continued to massage my stomach and even though it was never at any stage painful, I sometimes felt some slight cramps, this was explained as the ‘peristalsis’ movement around my organs, basically just the contraction or movement of the muscles releasing and letting go. I burped a little bit (apparently I had a lot of gas to release!).

"At one stage I felt very cold and there were goose-bumps all over my body. Nigel explained that this was the water going into all of my cells and re-hydrating them. The treatment was all over in about thirty minutes but to be honest, it really did feel like only half that time.

"I was left alone to go back to bathroom where, seriously guys, you don’t want to know but suffice it to say that I’m glad it was a sound-proofed room! I never felt rushed or hurried at any time and when I got dressed and came back to the treatment room, Nigel asked if I wanted to lie down again or to take some time to myself. I didn’t as I really felt great! SO much lighter, brighter, more energized and with a bit more lustre about me.

"The consultation then continued as Nigel explained that it had been a very successful colonic, that I had excreted so much gunk - normally it would have taken three treatments to have gotten to that stage. I am now happily parted from: un-digested food, faeces, mucus, gas and fat. Well happy with that last one!"

We'll return to Gio's story in a couple of days where she tells us about the brilliant post treatment advice Nigel gave her on diet and lifestyle and maintaining the good work that the colonic started.


Check out the Absolute Balance clinic at As well as colonics they do an amazing range of other treatments.

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