This morning I woke up with clawing, grabbing, cramps ripping through me.
My head was splitting - a banging headache sprang into action to add to the joy.
I had to crawl - crawl! - to the kitchen to stuff down two Nurofen Plus and lie on the blessedly cool tiles until the tablets started to kick in and everything began to calm down.
"Later," I croaked to the cats, pushing them away, as confused they kept trying to lie on me. "I'll feed you in a minute."
I emitted a lonely wail in a tone that Chewbacca would have been proud of.
Minutes passed. I began to recover and heading for the shower I reached for my toothbrush and caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror.
A huge volcanic spot glared back at me like something from a Stephen King novel.
Hormones I bloody hate you.