When I read this in the Irish Times this morning I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Members of the "exclusive" dating website Beautifulpeople.com (1M members) have decided that Irish men are the ugliest in the world. "Beauty lies in the eyes of the voter" they reckon and if their members decide you're not good looking enough you won't get in. Only 9% of Irish men are accepted to join the site making us bottom of the league.
Oh wait no - we have the joint ugliest male species on the planet. So who do we share the accolade with?
Polish men. So even if the native Irish eventually mingle with the biggest group to settle here, we're still in trouble in the ugly stakes.
Is there any hope at all? Well sort of. Beautifulpeople advises Irish men to stop sending in horrible photos of themselves for starters. Pictures posed for the pub (while balancing a pint on your beer gut probably) are not a good idea. Nor are topless photos unless you have a six pack worthy of Daniel Craig. Get a tan they advise. For gods sake do some sport - at least try to look healthy and active.
And for jesus sake stop sending in photos looking like you're at your confirmation. Obviously thinking they look like Daniel Craig (again) besuited photos are very popular choices among our male species. Just don't do it, the website advises and says "And do try to look friendly and smile – too many photos have the man looking scary and weird.”
So, scary and weird ones aside, Irish men based on looks alone don't really cut the mustard when rated beside the likes of the Brazilians or the Italians. They need the chat, the old charm and a bit of craic to melt hearts. And when that opportunity is denied them their charm just doesn't come across.
You can't just rate someone on the basis of an out of focus pub photo. And you definitely can't form a lasting relationship on this basis either. The very idea of taking personality out of the agenda is ridiculous. Our men DO have all this charm (when they can be arsed that is) and are the best fun in the world. Even though the whole premise of this dating site couldn't be more shallow and insulting, lets try to laugh through the pain and take something from this survey "going forward". Keep the male grooming going guys (or er start it) and for gods sake make a BIT of an effort not to look like a beer swilling slob.
Please. Our national pride depends on it.
P.S. Irish women did much better, being rated significantly better looking than the British or German gals