Tickled and all that I am that a fowl-mouthed puppet (doubly delighted he's pissed off Dana) will be representing us in the joke-fest that is the Eurovision, right now, I'm awarding Nul Points to Dustin on the grooming front.
That addled-looking drinkers beak, the ruffled feathers, the dull complexion - something's got to be done before he heads to Belgrade and makes a total holy show of us. And I'm not even talking about the song, wha?
So Dustin - I hope you're paying attention, because this is what needs to be done, stat.
1. Those feathers need some serious attention. A good cut and a glossing treatment need to be your first port of call. After that, invest in some Frizz Ease. God knows, you need it.
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2. Concealer. Jayyysssis Dustin. That nose! Those eyes! Get yourself something heavy duty - I recommend emulsion paint - and jaysis use it.
3. Tackle that redness. You might want to knock the pints on the head for a while, because that whiskey nose is a shocker. Calm redness with some lovely soothing products from La Roche Posay.
PS: it's just a guess, but you look like you could do with a breath-mint too.
