How to Ooze Confidence When You Don't Feel It

Confidence is something we all strive to have; however, it's tough to be confident 100% of the time.   

Whether your lack of confidence is just down to a bad day or is a more serious issue of having limiting beliefs about yourself, self-confidence isn't something that you just have; it's something you create. It is a sense of certainty that you can accomplish anything that comes your way. Having confidence is a state of mind that you can harness to help you get results you want in life.  

So many situations in life call for a high level of confidence, whether you want to ace a job interview, you're going on a first date, or you're giving an important presentation. If you're having a hard time reaching a high level of confidence, there are a few different things you can do to help fake it until you make it.   

Check your body language 


Body language is one of the first things that give away any sign of nerves or lack of confidence. Check yourself for slouched shoulders and hanging your head, and instead ensure that you push your shoulders back and hold your head high. These subtle changes in posture will have you appearing and feeling more confident in any situation. Another top tip is to make sure your body is directly facing the person you're talking to.   

Stop fidgeting 


Fidgeting can reflect discomfort and restlessness, and we can find ourselves doing it when we feel awkward in a situation. Fidgeting can take many forms, such as tapping your foot or fingers, shifting your weight from side to side and folding and unfolding your arms. Once you are mindful of your fidgeting habits, you can try to limit them.   

If you are unsure of what to do with your hands, some experts suggest making a steeple shape with your fingers. This gesture is a universal display of confidence and is often used by those in a leadership position. You place the fingertips of both hands together, spreading them and then arching the hands so that the tips of the fingers look like a church steeple.  

It's all in the eyes  


Don't underestimate the power of steady eye contact. If you're not used to holding eye contact, it can be a bit awkward to start off doing, but the benefits it has on your confidence is priceless. To avoid looking like a crazy person, try the 80/20 rule, where you meet the other person's eyes 80% of the time and for 20% of the time look at something else.   

Dress for success  

The old saying, dress for success still rings true. Your outfit choice is a simple and efficient way to up your confidence levels. By wearing your favourite dress on a first date or investing in a power suit for an important meeting, you will find your confidence naturally soar.   

Blast the tunes


Before heading into an important presentation or event, take a moment to blast your favourite music to pump you up. Studies have shown that bass-heavy tunes, in particular, can help boost your confidence and have you feeling like you can conquer anything. Any excuse to blast out some Drake or Kendrick Lamar!   

Remember that no one really cares  


If your lack of confidence is due to worrying about how you are being perceived in social settings, remember that more often than not, people are thinking about you much less than you probably think. Most people are focused on how they are coming across in a conversation and rarely give much in-depth thought as to whether you appear nervous or awkward. Try and get out of your head in social settings and don't be afraid to be yourself and let your personality shine through, and you'll find confidence will naturally follow.  

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