A couple of weeks ago when reading Lorraine's brilliantly funny post about the best hangover cures she's found, Pinkpanther left a comment:
"My hair gets desperate hangovers," she said. Now Pinkpanther is extraordinarily experienced in hangovers; their causes, effects and cures. And as often as not I agree with her. So this comment inspired a YES! response in me.
After a night on the lash my hair is dryer than the desert. It feels brittle, like it will snap at any given moment. It's filthy - even though I might have had it blowdried the night before.
I mean - WTF? How on earth can that happen? Hair that was reasonably well nourished and shiny the night before can suddenly - overnight - succumb to a hangover and dry out? And become gross and disgusting. I can understand dehydration etc affecting the scalp and the roots of hair, that makes sense - but the ends? How on earth can the effects of a few extra glasses of vino travel down to the end of my hair and shrivel and desiccate the life out of it?
If these are the things I can SEE what on earth have I done to my liver and various other internal organs? Oh god.
No need for Berocca, bags of Tayto or cans of ice cold coke here because hair isn't really affected by them in the short term (though of course you can if you want. Read Can you actually die of a hangover for more cures).
No compadres, it's time to hit the shower.
I kind of shot my load here in the title of the post but honestly all your hair really needs is to be washed. Just have a shower and use a good conditioner (read about some conditioners we've liked). Step into the shower and press the button or twirl the dial to allow nourishing water to flow over your toxic body. Stick your tongue out to catch some life giving droplets.
Use all your strength to unsnap the shampoo bottle top and do your best to mash it through your hair. Slump against the tiles while the water foams it up and rinses it out. Then it is time for conditioner. Use loads.
Now stumble out of the shower, grabbing a towel as you go and collapse exahausted into bed. Stay there for as long as possible. This is vital. You have made a super human effort to have a shower: now you need rest.
I could go on about hair treatments here and "taking time out" to have a spa day and lavishing your hair with oils and ungents - but it ain't gonna happen is it? All you will be fit for is lying on the couch whimpering and taking two paracetamol with your million cups of tea.
Your nails will be quite likely to be filthy too - filthy! I mean you could grow spuds under them. And there's quite often an unexplained and mysteriously acquired leg bruise. The shower will work miracles - and if you can summon up the effort to weakly (and no doubt crappily) apply some body lotion so much to the good.
And definitely try out a noodle pillow too, to see if that works. Get a good nights sleep on your noodle pillow and in the morning all will be much better.
Now over to you! How did you recover your lustrous mane after Paddy's Day?