Don't ask me how we got onto this subject the other day - trust me you don't want to know - but anyone who has ever got the Winter Vomiting Virus or a bad case of food poisoning will know ALL about it.
You have no control at all. None. You need to go so urgently that horror of horrors it's going to happen whether you like it or not.
And the Winter Vomiting Virus don't care if you're near a bathroom. And it don't care if you need to puke at the same time as you're sitting on the toilet.
All I can say is: take the advice given in Bridesmaids and get the hell off the white carpet