Love it, hate it, or really REALLY hate it, the literary travesty that is Fifty Shades of Grey isn’t going anywhere for quite some time. Earlier this week the internet was abuzz with the news that the roles of controlling bag of douche and all-round terrible person Christian Grey and personality vacuum Ana Steele have finally been cast. Rumours had been circulating for the last year or so with names like Ian Somerhalder and Emma Watson being bandied about, prompting Emma to write the following tweet for which I will love her forever:
Anyway, the decisions have been made and the two actors cashing it in are Charlie Hunnam of Sons of Anarchy (who actually looks like he’s too sound to play a creep like Christian) and Dakota Johnson of being Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson’s daughter.
However, some people who care about this awful book way too much are very unhappy with the news. Outraged, in fact. So much so that a Change.org petition for Matt Bomer and Alexis Bledel off Gilmore Girls to be cast has been set up and currently has 23,796 signatures, which is looking more and more like a sure sign of humanity’s impending doom.
The thing is, I really can’t see how they’re going to make an any way decent film out of this. The sex scenes were the major selling point for the books, so they’ll have to be included but doing so will surely make it an over 18s film, which studios tend to want to avoid. But cutting out the explicit scenes will essentially mean two hours of infuriatingly inane conversations and Ana saying “oh my” over and over again. So the options there seem to either be porn or an incredibly dull drama about two deeply unlikeable people. Good luck with that, studio execs.
Whatever happens, it’s going to be a surefire money spinner and a hit at the box office, whether people are going to see it because they love it, out of curiosity or for plain old hate-watching.
So do you have any feelings either way over the casting news? Are you as baffled as I am by the fact that over 20,000 people are so incensed by it?
And perhaps most importantly, will you be going to see it in the cinema? (In disguise or otherwise.)