Ah here. Secret tampons by post - NOW NO ONE WILL KNOW YOU GET PERIODS

Except that they might know.  Because if you're an em WOMAN it's kind of a no brainer.

But we seem to be going back to the 50s here, as "discreet" sanitary protection services are all the rage in the States.  Juniper will send you the necessary jam rags every month in an unmarked white box and also include "a collection of gourmet sweets and artisan savory treats. Nothing weird, just classic comfort snacks done right."

And then they sickeningly add  "We can’t send hugs to our customers yet. This is the next closest thing."

My Cotton Bunny (that NAME! Jesus wept) goes one worse with its BFF package which includes the seemingly compulsary chocolate-  and a friendship bracelet.  What?!

Le Parcel kind of wrecks the whole secrecy buzz with the big LE PARCEL sticker on its box.  Surely then everyone would KNOW!  That's not discreet.  I'm not signing up for this one.


Until I learned about these services I was unwittingly throwing Tampax into the supermarket trolley every month and stocking up on Dairy Milk all by myself - unaware that it was a source of embarrassment.  I didn't know that the normal functioning of a healthy body was supposed to be mortifying.

I've been picking up Always and though I wasn't having an er Happy Period, I certainly wasn't morto.  Silly me!  Why they even sell these products in the petrol station and the smallest little newsagent - but hopefully this practice will soon die out, because apparently we're all DYING of shame and need to have these filthy things sent secretly to us by post.

"Basically, every woman I spoke to was like, ‘oh my God, that's fucking brilliant,'"  said Naama Bloom, the founder of Hello Flo.  "No one actually enjoys the experience of buying tampons."

WHERE and WITH WHOM did she do her market research?  Every woman I know couldn't give a rats ass about buying tampons.

With a market worth $8 billion per year unfortunately I think these subscription services may be on to something  - even if they get a teeny weeny slice of the action, they're still quids in.  I think I'll jump on the bandwagon too.  Listen for €28 dollars a month I won't just provide sachets of hot chocolate - I'll throw in a box of Nurofen too.  How's that?

So, now that you can banish your eternal shame, who's signing up?



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