Don't call me sweetheart! Are pet names sexist or harmless?

"Ah thanks love." "Here you are, pet."

Not a day goes by in this country where someone you don't know calls you a pet name. Some people slap the Irish suffix "een" (which indicates that something is small, in case you're not familiar) on anything and everything.  Now this isn't as prevalent in Dublin, but outside The Pale it certainly is.

Peteen, biteen, manneen; nothing is safe. A relative of mine (who shall remain nameless) is particularly guilty of this - she doesn't have cups or spoons but cupeens and spooneens. My mother likes to tell a story of a friend of hers who was so partial to calling people "loveen" that it became her own nickname. For the most part, I don't even notice when people call me a pet name.

I was surprised, then, to read not one but two posts on xojane in which the authors express their complete disgust for pet names - they're sexist and disrespectful, they say. Hmm.

Obviously I'm shockingly unfeminist because I happen to like pet names. I find myself automatically warming to people who call me affectionate names; waitresses, hairdressers, little old ladies on the bus. Pet names give me the warm fuzzies - OK, the people who call you "love" may not actually care about you at all, but it's a nice thought, isn't it? And I don't find them sexist.

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In Ireland, you'll certainly be called "pet" or "love" regardless of your gender.

Obviously, there are times when it is not OK - we all know when someone is actually trying to patronise us, or when something veers into creep territory. But I wouldn't dream of calling someone out on something that they say in good faith without thinking. Requesting that people not call you pet names would be akin to asking them to kneel before speaking to you - unnecessarily demanding.

Though saying that, I draw the line at people I don't know calling me Val. Sure, call me honey and even the unwittingly scary sounding "Hun" all you like, but the minute you call me Val - nope. You're getting far too familiar for my liking.

How do you feel about pet names/nicknames? Do they warm your heart or boil your blood?

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