In recent and horrendous news for humanity, the news from the Phillipines was that some blooming idiot thought that a T-shirt bearing the legend “It’s not rape, it’s a snuggle with a struggle” was a good, A-OK, bang-on, money-spinning idea. Even worse, this T-shirt (before it was promptly removed from all offending stores) appeared in the young men’s section of SM Stores.
Photo via Karen Kunawicz/FacebookBecause, hey, if your son doesn’t have a ‘funny, haha’ attitude to rape, then you know you’re doing the whole parenting thing wrong. Yes, the T-shirts were removed by the SM Store but the very fact that it was produced makes my stomach heave.
Photo via The SM Store/FacebookNow, I won’t waste your time listing the many, myriad and manifold ways in which this T-shirt is offensive, repugnant and downright gross. We've all seen the story and we should have a moral compass that tells us that.
I am, however, going to briefly (and inadequately) laud the public struggle of one woman with her own experiences of rape. Studies show that rape is something that many women and men silently suffer with. The Rape Crisis Network of Ireland tells us that less than one rape survivors in ten reports his/her attack.
It is thus an act of astonishing bravery to refuse to be silenced about your experience. In the case of Emma Sulkowicz, she alleges that her rapist is a fellow student at Columbia University, where she remains in College. After claiming that she was ‘handled’ and hushed by the University when she reported her assault, Emma has turned to performance art.
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For her art thesis, every day that she is on the Columbia campus, she carries a mattress that is an exact replica of the one on which she was raped. It is a symbol of the weight she, and other survivors of sexual assault, carry in the aftermath. Her performance art rules are very explicit - she cannot ask for help with the mattress, but can accept help if it is offered.
Beautifully, poignantly, and obviously, students and faculty across Columbia have started to help Emma carry the mattress. As word spreads about her experiences, the injustice suffered by Emma and many other survivors of sexual assault becomes more apparent.
Emma on the cover on New York magazineSo, to the owner of the SM Supermall in Pasay City who stocked the world’s worst ever T-shirt, and to the designer of said T-shirt, and to anyone who bought same, I would like to present to you the amazing endurance of one young woman who is doing her best to survive one of the worst things that ever happened to her.
And to the same people, you should know - no one thinks you’re funny but we do think you're vile.
Have you seen the coverage of Emma Sulkowicz's 'Carry that Weight' art thesis? Do you admire her bravery in drawing attention to her attack? Or do you just despair for humanity? We'd love to hear what you think in the comments.
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If you have been raped, sexually assaulted, sexually abused, or sexually harassed you can call the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s National 24 hour Helpline for free, entirely confidentially: 1800 77 88 88
