Detox diets and the lure of the quick fix

Jared Leto before detox (right).  Know how he feels

And as surely as night follows day, New Year purging follows Christmas bingeing.  In our hurry to lose the Tin of Roses related poundage we often grab whatever seems quick and easy.  Sluggish and bloated: the thought of a detox and the flushing away of all the assorted grams of fat and alcohol and replacing it with a pure clean system sounds so appealing

  1. The sad fact is that most commercial detox products that you'll buy in the chemist are either crap (as in they don't work) or actually crap (as in that's what you'll be doing  frequently when you're on them.  Most are full of laxatives).
  2. Master Cleanse/ Maple Sugar Diet / Lemonade Diet
     Popularised by Beyonce who lost 20lbs on it for her part in Dreamgirls (read her experiences here in my exclusive interview with her) it seems that everyone's tried this diet.  At least once.  Myself I lasted til tea time the day I tried it.
    But Jared Leto lasted a little longer than me.  Using this drink and a combination of raw foods he managed to lose the 62lbs he had piled on for his role as John Lennons killer in the film Chapter 27.  Both the putting on of so much weight and the losing of it were severe - more than a few mince pies went into the piling on of so much weight.  He stuffed his face with pizza, cheese and even resorted to microwaving tubs of ice cream so he could add oil to them before drinking to make the ice cream even more calorific.  Yuckarama.
  3. Pu erh tea
    We went crazy for pur eh tea  when Posh Spice popularised it a few years back.  But it will turn your teeth black and tastes like fish so we soon gave it up.  Variations of this drink still abound and we've got a great review of one of these Chinese weightloss teas coming up tomorrow - and exactly the effects it will have on you.
  4. Green, Matcha and White Tea
    Drinking anything full of antioxidants that delivers plenty of water into the system is always good. Take a look at this review
  5. Supplements
    Again beware of anything screaming "DETOX" on the box and mentally substitute this word with LAXATIVE .  But some supplements are fairly harmless and may help you out in your detox quest.  Try some Ayuverdic magic.  I'm drinking a cup of Liquorice tea as I type, I love it
  6. Detox Foot patches
    Please don't waste your money.  In the beginning we were fooled too, but there is no way you can detox through your feet.  Sweat turns the pads a different colour during the night, not the magic power of the pad drawing toxins out of the body.  Here's the stringent testing we put this product through 

So are you embarking on a detox this January - or are you just thinking "nah I'll just go back to eating normally, drink more water and eat more fruit and veg".  Discuss!

image via skynet

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