Guffawing into my tea I was the other evening when I was Tweeted a link to one of the Irish Times' often bizarro world reader offers.
Modesty Panels, ladies. MODESTY PANELS!
Beloved of Benny in Circle of Friends' mother (but not actually Benny herself), these pieces of pin-in fabric 'simply clip to your bra' for extra cover up when needed! You just know that this extreme Catholic item is being feted up and down the land by fathers of teenage daughters, nuns and members of Youth Defense.
Features of the Modesty Panel include:
- Give your wardrobe a new lease of life!
- Lace-trimmed panels simply clip onto your bra!
- Cover up your cleavage!
- Six gorgeous colours!
- Instantly transform deep-plunge V-neck sweaters, tops and dresses!
- Create the illusion of another layer!
- (I put the exclamation marks in!)
Excitingly, a set of three panels to cover YOUR DIRTY PILLOWS OF SHAME is only €12.95 but if you buy six, you SAVE €3! So that's less money to be cowed and made to feel like cleavage is a bad thing.
Women. Do not buy these things out of any sense of societal guilt that your boobs are anything that need hiding. If you think your top's a bit revealing, here's a thought: safety pin. And further, unless they start making Modesty Panels for the back of builders jeans, I call a veto on the whole malarkey. Either we all have to cover up our cracks, or none of us do.
Thanks to @hazleot on Twitter for the spot!