Cleavage is SO out girlfriend: modesty vests hot for Winter. Put them heaving bosoms away

cleavage report

*******************NEWSFLASH *****************

Vests the new IN trend for this season!*

According to a report which may or may not be made up and is very loosely based on catwalk trends, getting your bangers out (as Gok would say) is firmly a no go area. Buttoned up to the neck and down to the ankles in positively Victorian style is the way to go. And if you have a cleavage revealing top that you simply must continue to wear: just pop a vest underneath it and you'll be suitably covered up.

Which is good news for Mammys. The fear of daughters going out with their chests exposed to every chill in the name of fashion may be over. At long last Mammy can be confident that the thermal vests she buys for her daughters every Winter might actually be worn (Just an er joke Mammy, in case you happen to read this. We always wear them, honestly. We'd never dream of going out without a vest on a chilly night, or not wearing a cosy scarf and catching our death.)


Now someone just has to break the news to Jordan

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