I've been using Colgate's new MaxWhite One toothpaste for the last 10 days, and since the ad tagline runs "one week to whiter teeth" you might reasonably expect that my gnashers would be looking pretty darn snow white by now. Well, despite apparently having a unique formula with white accelerator micro-crystals which contain similar ingredients to those used by dentists and promising to safely remove stains, it has made no discernible difference to the colour of my smile.
My teeth look exactly the fecking same as they did last week.
On closer inspection of the toothpaste tube, I discovered that it recommends brushing three times rather than twice a day to achieve results. Oh, I thought. And then I noticed what Colgate reckon you can hope to achieve after a week of dutifully trotting to the bathroom to use this toothpaste three times daily.
Up to a whopping ONE shade lighter. I strongly feel that if I had a tea-free day, my teeth would nearly achieve that on their own. What kind of super vision would you need to be able to spot that teeth had been whitened by a single shade, like?
Today's lesson: must learn to read labels before purchase.