"Wanting to get something special and sparkly this Christmas?," asked the press release from Liberty. I perked up. I LOVE Liberty and always make time to go in when I'm in London. It's delicious, so it is. Anyway, the bods at the store would like me to take note of their exclusive Tweezerman tweezers, created especially for them. "Ooh that sounds nice," I thought. Purple, embellished with Swarovski crystals. Blinging pouch - all good.
Then I looked at the price. SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS! I began to channel Brian Potter in Phoenix Nights, at the very moment when he expresses surprise and disgust at the combination of garlic and bread. "SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS FOR A TWEEZERS?" Why, in my day, etc.
In fact, the only thing more comedic than this wonderful example of capitalism in action is the fact that should you desire to purchase this item, you will also have the great privilege of paying TWENTY FIVE POUNDS for delivery to Ireland. Making this a HUNDRED POUND TWEEZERS.
What a super bargain! I think I shall have two!