The festive season is a time when diets are happily thrown out the window and we indulge in every type of food and drink we can see to our hearts' content. This would probably be grand if we only celebrated Christmas on the one day, but no, we generally start the 'eat all of the food' mentality somewhere around December 1st and don't stop until probably the first few days of January.
In summary, we are all fat, bloated messes by now; we fear the sight of our jeans but not enough to put down the Celebrations. Fear not fat friends, you are not alone, and unless you are of one of those lucky ones who just don't bloat, gain weight or actually do have the motivation to exercise over the festive season (what ARE YOU?!), then you're definitely feeling like some of the folk below.
When your dog is too fat for his Christmas sweater so you have to drape it over him ðŸÅ½… pic.twitter.com/W1Wa6xfcE0
— Alanna Carmichael (@alannaC19) December 18, 2015
It's not even Christmas and I have so much holiday bloat that my bloat is bloated.
— Jamie (@JamieNoah) December 23, 2015
— Navreet (@navreet_s) December 27, 2015
Feel like a hungover fat slug after Christmas
— Ben Crichton (@BenCrichton17) December 27, 2015
Perfect gown to disguise and distract from post-Christmas bloat (MORNING GLORY, 1933). pic.twitter.com/fhCVr6QuRU
— Sarah Ganske (@thebasementtan) December 26, 2015
Having 12 mozzarella sticks to myself because I'm fat, I'm fabulous, it's Christmas, and fuck everyone else
— Lewis Hanson (@PepsiLew22) December 27, 2015
— Viral Rooster (@viralrooster) December 27, 2015
This dead week between Christmas and new year is the reason for 85% of my body fat
— j (@LakaUkulele) December 27, 2015
On the plus side though...
Don't be afraid to gain a few pounds this Christmas because fat people are harder to kidnap.
— Nqobile Sibiya (@NqobileSibiya5) December 27, 2015
Don't worry though, nobody has probably noticed that extra couple pounds other than yourself, and sure we'll all be feeling like mahoosive roides again in January...ish.
Until then, is that a turkey sandwich you've got there?