THE back to school Denny's ad always makes me well up. Bright eyed children on their first day at school, getting their name tags, doing their lessons, atein' their hang sangwiches, sweetly skipping in the yard at break time.
It'd bring a tear to a glass eye so it would. It brings back such happy memories of the first day at school. Not MY first day at school you understand. Oh no, there was none of that on my first day at school.
Instead I bullied and strong armed a wailing little girl into the classroom with me, demanding she pull herself together and stop her whinging.
So desperate was I to get to school to FINALLY find out what all the fuss was about and what my siblings had been banging on about that I was sprinting a good 100 metres ahead of my mother up the corridor, when I bumped into my little pal.
Skidding to a halt I noticed she was bawling her eyes out, while clinging to her mother's legs.
'What's wrong with you?' sez I, confused and giving the side eyes good-o, unable to fathom why anyone would be sad to be finally getting away from their families.
'She's afraid of going in to school,' said the little girl's mother kindly, trying to extricate herself from her daughter.
'C'mon,' sez I, having none of it 'I'll take you in with me.' Grabbing the child by the hand I yanked her into the classroom with me, throwing a 'she'll be grand' over my shoulder at her Mam, completely ignoring my own.
And that was that. No photos of us at our desks for our mothers, oh no. No cute final moments. No big eyes meeting the teacher. Just a slammed door and a faint air of insolence about the place.
I don't remember much about the rest of the day, there may even have been hang sangwiches, but I remember well the shock and then resignation on that little one's face when she realised I wasn't to be trifled with. A four-year-old Nazi, really, my mother must have been so proud.
How about all of you, how was your first day at school? Were you happy to be going in or did you cry and disgrace yourselves?