NEW! Banish Frodo Feet With Scholl Velvet Smooth Express Pedi Range

I may huff and puff about skin a lot, but I'm a lazy fecker when it comes to my feet. Every summer, I retrieve them from their hiding place inside my socks and wish that I'd invested in a pedicure or two throughout the year. What. A. Mess.

Every single summer the pattern is repeated. I awake on the morning of one of the (approximately two) hot days we get per year, dust off my sandals, and despair of my feet. Crispy hooves with leathery patches and peely bits. Nobody wants to look at feet that look like boiled trotters!

I also confess to never having had a proper, professional pedicure. Ever.

Let she without hoof-feet cast the first pumice stone...

My trotters were in this shambolic state when I cam across these lovely bits and pieces from Scholl.

  • Scholl Velvet Smooth Express Pedi (€49.99)

This is a nifty and really effective tool for removing tough, dry skin on the feet. Basically an electrical hard skin remover, it comes complete with a replaceable roller head which is so much more abrasive than a manual pumice stone could ever be. I was glad to see that this device comes with batteries - you just whip it out of the packaging, pop in the batteries, and get to work on dry feet!

The trick with this is not to hold it on one area of skin for anything more than three or four seconds, as you could get friction burns. When I was finished, this little sander for feet had buffed away my nasty Frodo feet to reveal smooth, soft feet that I'm not ashamed to display!

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  • Scholl Velvet Foot Soak (€8.99)
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Soaking feet is underrated. It can be really relaxing after a long day on sore feet. Also, we don't beat around the bush here at beaut.ie. We may love makeup and girly things, but after a long summer's day inappropriately dressed in heavy shoes (we're never prepared for summer), feet get stinky. Yes. Even delicate lady feet. A lovely foot soak will eliminate that malodorous whiff of Parmesan cheese nicely.

This soak smells lovely. Containing vitamin E , marine serum and green caviar (ooh la la!), it's a real treat for feet. They'll emerge smelling less like a regional delicacy and feel as soft as baby feet!

  • Scholl Velvet Smooth Intense Serum (€8.99)

One of the reasons for my grievous pedal neglect, or the condition known as crispy feet, is the fact that I HATE foot cream. There, I said it. I really loathe the sensation of sleeping with heavy cream on my feet inside socks. They get all hot and I find the sensation really uncomfortable.

Foot creams tend to be so heavy and thick that it's just not practical to put them on at any other time of day, unless you want to polish your shoes from the inside...

That is why I really adore this foot serum. It is so light, yet really refreshing and hydrating. Feet drink it right in without leaving any oily residue. In fact, it's in no way greasy at all. I rubbed some of this into feet after soaking and headed to bed. Frankly, my feet looked like they should have been sitting at the end of the legs of someone who gave their feet any love, ever.

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I was literally impressed by my own feet. That's pretty pathetic, but it's certainly an achievement for Scholl. I took some pride in my tootsies, bedecked them with some purple nail polish, popped on my sandals, and marched arrogantly out into the...rain.

Oh well. Can't have everything, I suppose.

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Do YOUR feet look like an overcooked dish from a mysterious foreign culture? Are you an aficionado of the at-home pedi? To the comments!

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