Silly women, wearing silly shoes like high heels - stop this nonsense at once.
You've also been observed (by men shaving and sending texts), doing other frivolous naughty things like brushing your hair or putting on lipstick at the wheel. Oh women! The things you do! Silly girls.
But never mind all that because if you happen to break down this Valentine's Day AA Roadwatch will send one of its burly mechanics out to fix your car good and proper. He'll give it a good servicing at the side of the road and slip you a box of chocolates and a red rose as he takes his leave, driving his van off into the sunset. Read all about it here.
"We predict many jealous partners" chuckled Conor Faughnan.
Right I'll let some tumbleweeds roll past after that remark. AA Roadwatch you may have dressed this us as a "fun" initiative but stunts like this only contribute to the lads culture of driving. This is the most misogynistic PR attempt I've seen in a long time - possibly ever. Men are responsible for most of the carnage on our roads due to the testosterone fueled way they drive, the way they treat other drivers - especially women drivers - and their terrible driving habits.
And you can feck off with your Valentine's rose.